Billy Crystal as Lionel Carpenter

Joan Prather as Segoynia Savaka

Alex Rocco as Sergeant Danny Bonhoff

Doris Roberts as Mrs. Carpenter

Margaret Adachi as Interviewer

Adam Anderson as Sobbing Sailor

John Andersonjo as African Chief

Edward Ansara as Second Newscaster

Gino Ardito as Wino Brother

Lawrence Bame as Second Secret Serivce Man

Sarverio Barbiere as Gypsy Cousin

Marlene Barr as Cashier

Billy Barty as Lester

Tanii Bauer as Mrs. Reinheimer

Peggy Blow as Bunny

Steve Bluestein as Berkowitz

Suzanne Buhrer as Bust Developing Lady

May Boss as Frail Old Lady

R.G. Brown as Amazing Frank

Warren Burton as First Secret Service Man

H.R. Calhoun as Native Drummer

William Callaway as Intern

Hamilton Camp as Misha

Allan Chinn as Chinese Soldier

Patience Cleveland as First Dancing Lady

Imogene Coca as Madam Marie

Jane Connell as Anthropologist

Charles Cooper as Second Presidential Aide

Edwin Craig as Man in Crowd

Valerie Curtin as Pashima

Keene Curtis as Dr. Julius Lasse-Braun

Francis De Sales as Cardinal

Fay DeWitt as Mrs. Stockard

Richard Deacon as First Newscaster

Barry Dennen as Mad Bomber

Peter Elbling as Monya

Norman Fell as Segoynia's Father

Fannie Flagg as The President's Wife

Jack Fletcher as The Pope

Ben Freedman as Gypsy Grandfather

Ben Frommer as Mr. Sanchez

Monika Furness as Little Girl

Alice Ghostley as Nurse Tumm

George Gobel as The President of the U.S.

Ina Gould as Woman Flasher

Rosey Grier as Taxi Driver

Rod Haase as Surfer

Tracy Hotchner as Woman in Crowd

Pollyanna Houston as Harpist

Roy D. Jackson as Man in Crowd

J.S. Johnson as Father of Triplets

Michael Keaton as Sailor

John Kaufman as Janitor

Paul Kessler as Storm Trooper

Deborah Klose as Shopper

Susan Krebs as Mother

James Lashly as Man in Crowd

Hap Lawrence as Soldier

Sondra Lowell as Second Dancing Lady

Paul Lynde as Dr. Roger Vidal

Tommy Madden as Hospital Visitor

Peter Marshall as Self

Murray Matheson as Dr. Mario Lowell

Roddy McDowall as Gypsy Grandmother / Dr. D & C Fishbine

Jed Mills as Air Force Aide

Rollin Moriyama as Japanese Doctor

Shelley Morrison as Mrs. Borzoni

Nora Nichols as Woman in Crowd

Sheree North as Mystery Lady

Raymond O'Keefe as Bronco

Georgie Paul as Gypsy Lady

Paul Pepper as Reporter

Henry Polic II as Tito

Tom Poston as Minister

May Quigley as Nurse

Charlotte Rae as Cousin Claire

Teri Hope as Sobbing Lady

Ron Rifkin as Dr. Briscoe

Joan Rivers as Second Nurse

Sab Shimono as Chinese Leader

Mary Steelsmith as Melody Carpenter

Linda Thompson as Girl on Bus

Roderick Alexander as A Tint of Darkness Band Member

Ray Anthony Morris as A Tint of Darkness Band Member

Fred Pittman as A Tint of Darkness Band Member

Nathan Pittman as A Tint of Darkness Band Member

Barry Gene Williams as A Tint of Darkness Band Member

Jimmie Walker as Umbuto

Al Ward as Man in Crowd

Jomarie Ward as Woman Reporter

John Welsh as Army Aide

Lou Wills Jr. as Doctor

Dick Yarmy as First Presidential Aide

Carmen Zapata as Madam Nundi

Susanne Zenor as Mother of Triplets

Vincent Di Paolo as Swat Team Officer (uncredited)

Larry Gelman as Stand-Up Comic (uncredited)

Melissa Rivers as Little Girl (uncredited)

Charles Pierce as The Queen of England

Jane Chung as Woman (uncredited)