Asta Paredes as Chrissy

Catherine Corcoran as Lauren

Brenda Rickert as Aunt Bee

Lloyd Kaufman as Lee Harvey Herzkauf

Stan Lee as Narrator

Leesa Rowland as Victoria

Lemmy Kilmister as The President

Zac Amico as Zack

Vito Trigo as Leonardo

Clay von Carlowitz as Eugene

Debbie Rochon as Coach Kotter

Mike Baez as Donatello

Tara E. Miller as Rachel

Babette Bombshell as Principal Westly

Stefan Dezil as Slater

Rick Collins as Ron Simms

Gabriela Fuhr as Kelly

Caleb Emerson as Peanutch (Metal Detector Guard)

William Dreyer as Arnold

Mark Quinnette as Michaelangelo

Adam P. Murphy as Mr. Chips

Judah Friedlander as The World Champion

Josh Potter as Jock / The Toxic Avenger

Kyle Rappaport as Dancing Boy

Robert Prichard as Cop #1

Lisa Gaye as Professor Holt

Brick Bronsky as Dick Smith

John Migliore as Lauren's Chauffer

Joe Narode as Joey Muscles (uncredited)