Keanu Reeves as Ted

Alex Winter as Bill

Kristen Schaal as Kelly

Samara Weaving as Thea

Jack Haven as Billie

William Sadler as Death

Anthony Carrigan as Dennis Caleb McCoy

Erinn Hayes as Elizabeth

Jayma Mays as Joanna

Hal Landon Jr. as Chief Logan

Beck Bennett as Deacon

Kid Cudi as Kid Cudi

Amy Stoch as Missy

Holland Taylor as The Great Leader

Jillian Bell as Dr. Taylor Wood

Dave Grohl as Dave Grohl

DazMann Still as Jimi Hendrix

Jeremiah Craft as Louis Armstrong

Sharon Gee as Ling Lun

Patty Anne Miller as Grom

George Carlin as Rufus Hologram (archive footage)

Piotr Michael as Rufus (voice)

Shoshana Bean as First Noble

Sharon K. London as Second Noble

Al Vicente as Lead Scientist

Jared Bankens as Jesus / Young Ted

Ed Solomon as Stupid Demon

Chris Matheson as Ugly Demon

Kelly Carlin-McCall as Head Technician

Mickey Gooch Jr. as Clete

Billy Slaughter as Young Bill

Reece Loustalot as Babe Ruth

William E. Harris as George Washington

Kimberly Stockton as Queen Elizabeth

Christian Scott as Noble

Bridget Andrews as Cleopatra

Artis Burney as Buddha

Gretchen Byers as Renaissance Lady

Georgia Cohran as Harriet Tubman

David Calloway as Roman Soldier

John Devilman as Roman Soldier

Bailie Duzaut as Female Celt

Andrea Garcia as Gypsy

Gabriel Derrick as Gypsy

Maddison Nicolosi as Gypsy

Kallie Glidewell as Flapper

Xavier Leblanc as Pharaoh

Joseph Martin as Elizabethan Nobleman

Kharismisa Morris as Josephine Baker

Ned Yousef as Gandhi

Eliana Ruiz as Indira Gandhi

Tommie Wong as Kubla Khan

Lindy Ariff as Amelia Earhart

Diana Barnes as Frida

Alberto Corrales as Spanish Count

Scott Gelpi as Native Chief

Andrian Harabaru as Cellist

Dylan Langlois as Rifleman

Nick Garrison as Hendrix Band Member

Jeff Pagano as Noelle Redding

Dijon Lodree as Caveman

Jeremy Thomas as Caveman

Alexis Long as Cavewoman

Suzy Cole as Scientist

Alex Halpern as Scientist

Kierra Luv as Scientist

Bill Prady as Scientist

Nicolas Bosc as Caveman (uncredited)

Daniel Dorr as Mozart (uncredited)

Gregory Hobson as Tough Prisoner (uncredited)

"Weird Al" Yankovic as Guy Playing Accordion (uncredited)

William Buster Benefield as Wedding Guest (uncredited)

Michael Biss as Umpire (uncredited)

Maydelle Clarice as Renaissance Dancer (uncredited)

Guillermo Rodriguez as Guy in Shower (uncredited)

Matt Gorman as Fan Playing Air Guitar (uncredited)

John Morzen as Man in Lounge (uncredited)

Julia Holt as Tambourine Player (uncredited)