Alicia Silverstone as Goody

Krysten Ritter as Stacy

Dan Stevens as Joey

Richard Lewis as Danny

Wallace Shawn as Dr. Van Helsing

Justin Kirk as Vadim

Malcolm McDowell as Vlad Tepish

Sigourney Weaver as Cisserus

Marilu Henner as Angela

Kristen Johnston as Mrs. Van Helsing

Zak Orth as Renfield

Larry Wilmore as Professor Quincy

Meredith Scott Lynn as Rita

Brian Backer as Middle-Aged Guy / Dentist

Taylor Negron as Pizza Guy

Amir Arison as Derek

Bettina Bresnan as Maryanne Cachillio

Todd Barry as Ivan

Glen Trotiner as Leather Guy at Club

Emily Goldwyn as Juicy Girl

Ivan Sergei as Detective

Scott Thomson as Erik

Johanna Went as Rat Eating Woman

Rhonda Freya English as Nurse 1

Leisa Pulido as Landlady

Joel Michaely as Nerdy Sales Guy

Mike Eshaq as Gunman

Annie Kitral as Elderly Woman

Thomas D. Mahard as Elderly Man

Christopher Jarecki as Legal Clerk

Olivia Walby as Baby Goody

Gael García Bernal as Diego Bardem (uncredited)