Danny Dyer as John Smith

Sarah Harding as Stephanie Smith

Denise Van Outen as Michelle Smith

Neil Morrissey as Gary Gardner

Kellie Shirley as Susie Browning

Christopher Biggins as Bobby Franklin

Lionel Blair as Cyril

Jeffrey Holland as Dick Holland

Richard Briers as Newspaper Seller

Barry Cryer as Busker

Judi Dench as Bag Lady

Rolf Harris as Busker

Cliff Richard as Busker

Ian Cullen as

Gareth Marks as

Nicholas Le Prevost as D. S. Porterhouse

Pamela Cundell as

Peter Blake as Man reading newspaper

Ben Cartwright as D. S. Troughton

Derek Griffiths as Stockwell Police Officer

Jean Fergusson as Exercising Woman

Jennifer Wilson as

Vicki Michelle as Tourist

Jenny Seagrove as Taxi Passenger

Russ Abbot as Hospital Patient

Nicky Henson as Hospital Patient

Bernard Cribbins as Hospital Patient

Brian Murphy as Allotment Man

Marcia Warren as Woman on Seat

June Whitfield as Exercising Woman

Maureen Lipman as Exercising Woman

Katy Manning as Exercising Woman

Liza Goddard as Exercising Woman

Su Pollard as Shopkeeper

Andrew Sachs as Clumsy Waiter

Derek Fowlds as Man in Hat

Robin Askwith as Bus Driver

Mark Wingett as Man Outside Cafe

Sylvia Syms as Hip Operation Woman

Donald Sinden as Man on Bus

Finty Williams as

Wendy Craig as Nanny

Geoffrey Palmer as Man on Toilet

Lynda Baron as Nurse

Frank Thornton as Man on Bus

Bill Pertwee as Man on Bus

Tony Britton as Man on Bus

Wanda Ventham as Woman on Bus

Michael Cochrane as Man on Bus

Louise Jameson as Receptionist

Timothy West as Man in Pub

Prunella Scales as Woman in Pub

Jess Conrad as Piano Player

Tom Conti as Actor

Les Dennis as Man on Street

Noel Edmonds as Man in Shop

Vernon Kay as Plate-Spinning Man

Pat Sharp as Man in Flat

Dennis Waterman as Minding Person

Anita Graham as

Jeffrey Holland as Dick Holland

David Janson as

Jennifer Hill as Actress

Damien Swaby as