Rob Schneider as J.D.

Michelle Rodriguez as Harriet

Adrien Brody as Flirty Harry

Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn

Ari Shaffir as The Amazing Racist

Vince Offer as Peeping Tom

Jonathan Spencer as Lt. O'Flanagan / Bob / Sewage Technician / Paparazzi

Anna Akana as Student

Ali Olomi as Taliban Guard

Da'Vone McDonald as Vondell

Jessie T. Usher as Jamal

Noelle Kenney as Patient

Caroline Rich as Cindi

Theo Von as Mountain Climber

Joanna Krupa as Beautiful Girl

Deborah Rombaut as Nurse Jones

Danni Lang as Beautician

Alejandro Patiño as Worker

Calvin Sykes as Murphay

Andrea Lwin as Beautician

Thai Edwards as Swade

Mark Chalant Phifer as Darnell

Ashton Jordann Ruiz as Acquon

Ben Wang as Sweatshop Boss

Paul Kwo as Sweatshop Worker

Hymnson Chan as Student

Rick Chambers as Captain

Chehon Wespi-Tschopp as Black Swan

Isaac Cheung as Sushi Papa

Jia Mae as Sushi Mama (as Jia Perlich)

Paolo Scandarisi as Swollen Pecker

Dante as The Racist Assistant

Joe Roche as Rookie

Ben Begley as Bartender

Tony Vera as Bad Guy

Danni Lang as Beautician #2

Ray Bolton as Patron

Eduardo Ambriz DeColosio as Worker

Diane Kawasaki as Theater Madam

Kimberly Irion as Store Patron

Allen Abrams as White Swan

Marlon Pelayo as White Swan

Nick Lanzisera as White Swan

Dominique Kelley as Pink Swan

Justin de Vera as Pink Swan

Evan Strand as Pink Swan

Eleazar Pagsisihan as Black Swan

Kato Bonner as Hawk

Laura Evans as Hotel Guest (as Laura J. Evans)

Daniel Berson as Hotel Guest

David Weisenberg as Patron

Jennie Taber as Patron

Jennifer DeFilippo as Patron

Harvey J. Alperin as Patron

Gregg Martin as Patron

Marlena Poles as Patron

Josh Cheney as Manager

Justin Dragonas as Cashier

April Gooding as Passerby

Richard Penn as Passerby

Afi Ekulona as Passerby

Zachary James Rukavina as Passerby

Azur-De as Passerby

Rebekah Kochan as Passerby

Chloe Dykstra as Passerby

Nikea Gamby-Turner as Passerby

Rod Maiorano as Officer

Shayla Beesley as Girlfriend

Ethan Stone as U.S. Government Agent

Abraham Justice as Taliban Guard (as Mohamed Ibrahim Elkest)

Ace Gibson as Paparazzi

Michael D. Cohen as Paparazzi

Michael Silva as Paparazzi

James Elden as Paparazzi

Ken Pringle as Paparazzi

Kiersten Hall as Beautiful Girl

Leonard C. Jones as Charles Hughes